Shoes

In my 35 years of life, I have walked in many pairs of shoes.

A child’s shoes: 

 I was young, and needed guidance. I didn’t know the right thing to do and trusted that other people in my life were leading me in the right direction. In the child’s shoes, I would walk to a hot fire and put my hand in it, get burned, cry, then go put my hand right back into the fire because I didn’t know any better. 

I would follow someone who seemed to care, even if they were dangerous, because my tiny brain didn’t know that they were harmful to me. I didn’t concern myself with the reality of a situation, because my child shoes led me to play, and I still needed to learn.

Children grow quickly, and I had a growth spurt and grew out of those shoes.

Adolescent/Teenager shoes:

These shoes were fun to walk in. They were cool and flashy. You could see me coming a mile away in them because they were stylish. I might have worn these shoes many times without socks, and left them untied many times, because it didn’t matter to me.Since I didn't pay for them, I took no responsibility for my actions with them. All that mattered to me was where these shoes took me when I put them on. I used these shoes to attract other people who were just as flashy, and just like any teenager, I fell in love with “flashy.”  The brightness of being in love with “Flashy” caused me to do many foolish things. Important things like education, stability, and my future, meant nothing to me, because as long as I had my cool shoes on, life was good. Little did I know that this ”Flashy” life would lead me to lifetime decisions, such as raising children by myself, and having to grow up too early. So I was forced into my young adult shoes.

Young Adult Shoes:

These shoes were still stylish, but because I was now a single mother, I had to also buy 3 pairs of children’s shoes, so my shoes weren’t as cool as I would have liked to afford. However, I was still cool nonetheless. They were still flashy enough to find a new man after my kid’s father left. They were sensible enough to get me to college, and become independent. Yet still, they were popular enough to cause my mind to cloud and make wrong decisions if I wasn’t careful. These shoes were dangerous because they had it all. I could wear these shoes to work, school, to play with the kids, and to a date. Nobody could convince me that I was wrong in these shoes! I was invincible. These shoes made me feel like I didn’t need anyone. I took others for granted. If people liked my shoes, good. If not, too bad, I would walk all over them. Unfortunately, because of this attitude and the fact that I was still young, these shoes became worn out because I also allowed others to step on them as well. Young adult shoes have the potential to be smart and comfortable, but they aren’t professional or sensible enough to make grown up choices. Being in these shoes caused me a lot of heartache, and I took a lot of things for granted. These shoes had no “sole” or height, so I was not tall enough to see what mattered....and I had no sole [soul].

Funeral Shoes:

Dull, Dark, and miserable. The most uncomfortable shoes I have ever had to wear. I had to force my tiny foot into these shoes, that didn’t fit correctly, and wear them with a heavy heart. I barely remember the details of my life while I was in these shoes because they were facing loss and death. My tears dripped down my face and left little white stains on my funeral shoes as I realized that I was suffering a loss that I was not prepared for. One of the shoes fell off my foot, exposing my bare foot because I lost my other half, and was being stripped of everything I knew to be stable in my life. These shoes led me to lose my mind, my rationality, and succumb to numbness and solitude. I wore what was left of these dark shoes and stumbled to the store to buy some high heels.

High Heel Shoes:

These shoes were the mature, sexy, and confident shoes that elevated me from the ground and somewhat distracted me from my funeral shoes that still lie in my closet and haunt me. They had inches on the heels, so I had to learn to walk in them. It was painful at first, but once I learned, they gave me a killer strut! They made me feel confident as I put them on and graduated college. They brought a lot of attention in my direction, which, unfortunately caused me to make a few more bad decisions because when I wore those High-Heels, I felt like I was “above” everyone. I was driven to accomplish goals, but at the same time, my arrogance caused jealousy and loss of friends. Have you ever walked into a room wearing high heels while everyone else is wearing regular shoes? You are either given extra attention, or you become the topic of gossip.People see you as being a "hoe" or a "Bitch".Other women get angry as the man sitting next to them stare at you. Have you ever driven a car in High heels? You can’t help but to have a lead foot and speed. The police pull you over and give you a ticket, throwing dirt on your record, that is probably deserved. A woman in High Heels can use that attention to her advantage and relish in the fact that all eyes are on her, but she forgets that at the end of the night, when the shoes come off, her feet will be killing her, and she also turns back into the regular person that she sees in the mirror every day, flawed, short, and without makeup.

My Adidas:

My running shoes. I wear these now. They have “Old school style” with a pretty simple concept. They are comfortable and practical. They have a “sole” [soul] and can be worn anywhere without judgement. They match with any outfit. They are not too flashy, They don’t cause extra attention. Best of all, when I am faced with a situation that is not good for me, I can run without stumbling. Unlike my High Heels, when I am in my Adidas, I can be comfortable with my decisions. I don’t act too quickly, I can take my time with my choices. I can also help others without needing to run home and change shoes.

The moral of the story is this:

I have been in all kinds of shoes. The children’s shoes became too small, the Teenager shoes were immature, When I wore the adolescent shoes, I allowed people to manipulate me and I made stupid choices. The funeral shoes were at a low point and for some reason, I can’t throw them away. They remain in my closet [My heart] and refuse to let me move forward sometimes. The High Heels elevated me to accomplish my goals and also allowed me to see things about people and life that I was unable to see when I was wearing all of the other shoes, but the high-heels were painful shoes to wear, no matter how good I seemed to look wearing them. Now that I am wearing my running shoes, I can see all of this coming in my own life and the lives of my loved ones. I am at the point in my life where I need to be. I am wearing the correct shoes for my situation. I am smarter and stronger and more capable than ever before. I am inspired to be better, and to warn others about the other shoes that they are in because I have already worn them and know what will happen.

So as the saying goes…Don’t Judge Others Until You Walk A Mile In Their Shoes.

As for me, I feel like it is time for me to put my Adidas in the closet and buy some Church Shoes!