I am an "Enabler"

That is what more than a few people have said to me. It pissed me off when they said it, but I guess that is why they say that the truth hurts. When it is all said and done, it is what it is...even if it IS my children, I am an enabler.

Why? I don't know. Perhaps I felt the need to overcompensate for the fact that my children's father only deals with them whenever he feels like it, and that the man that DID actually play a part in helping me raise them died a couple of years ago. Then again, I suppose these could just be excuses. I mean, lots of women have raised respectful children without a man. Somewhere along the lines, I fucked up. Maybe I should have been beating their ass instead of sending them to their rooms. Maybe I shouldnt have made sure they had a good Christmas every year, and that they had nice clothes and shoes to wear to school. Maybe I shouldnt have been so worried about them hating me everytime I punished them.

Either way, I am paying for it deeply now. My kids are now spoiled, rotten, ungrateful teenagers (one is an adult with a child of her own), and oh yeah...they hate me. They don't hate their father for walking out on them. They hate ME. They don't do chores, they don't even try to pick up after themselves. The only time they are even nice to me is when they want something...and God forbid I say "No" because then I am the world's worst mother. If I discipline them, the entire house breaks out into such chaos that the police end up coming. Seriously...when did they start arresting mothers for domestic violence for bending back their disrespectful,smart ass, 18 year old daughter's fingers and taking away her phone that MOM pays the bill on!?!?
Now...my daughter is almost 19, has a child of her own, and manages to work 20 hours a week. This is where I am the "Enabler".
I drive her back and forth to work everyday. I babysit for her. I take her to all of her appointments. and all I ask for is 25.00 a week for gas...and she whines to everyone that I take all of her money. She doesn't do anything for herself. She spends her paycheck on stupid stuff then complains she has no car and can't find an apartment because I won't "help" her...how much "HELP" do I have to give???
"Just kick her out and make her do everything on her own!" is what everyone says to me...

I tried to throw her out, but thanks to the good old city and their domestic lawmakers, I am not allowed to kick her out of my house unless I go file a legal eviction with the sheriff (Which costs about $200.00 to do.)
And thanks to the Good old police department, my kids now believe that they can do whatever the fuck they please in my house and if I lay a hand on them, I will go right back to jail...as per the court order that was filed. 

So she gets to keep on being a little selfish ingrate, and there's not a damned thing I can do about it. Also, since she picks up her phone to play on Twitter more than she picks up her baby...even if she DOES move out, I will be worried sick that my grandchild isn't being taken care of. If it weren't  for that baby, she would have been out on her ass a long time ago.